| Nominee | Votes received | Nomination |
| Darkel | 9 | for somehow surviving 2022, even after being missing for months (presumably kidnapped - part of a bigger conspiracy). |
| Aegon | 7 | for crossing upper bounds of rartismo |
| Blurry | 7 | for being a newspaper in #public |
| Dark Slayer | 4 | focus now, eyes off of this cringe lord |
| ELK | 4 | was not supposed to be on this list because he's still finishing off tasks that were due in 2019 but threatened to curse me with juniper leaves if I didn't |
| Ishizu | 3 | for best discord nickname (Shi Shi Poo Poo) |
| Classy | 2 | for being a renowned harami supporter |
| Tom4S | 2 | added because he was feeling bad |
MANY THANKS AND MANY CONGRATULATIONS TO OTHER NOMINEES TOO, ESPECIALLY THE RETARD OF THE YEAR YES.